October 12, 2016
I’m sitting on my sister’s rooftop deck in LA overlooking the San Pedro harbor – and it is glorious! I slept up here last night as it was just too hot to sleep on the couch downstairs. My nephew, David, had wanted me to have his room (he even put away his clothes without asking) but I told him I wanted to camp out on the roof. It was amazing! I’m sure nobody thinks of LA as silent or tranquil, but that is exactly what the night was. Now as the sun rises I can hear the city waking up around me. Over the last hour, the light changed very slowly and then Boom! Daylight hits and everything is different. The vast dark expanse of the starry night is replaced with the recognizable objects that make up the everyday world. Dark and light, vast and defined, imagination and reality, perception and truth, extraordinary and mundane. Life is like that.
I had a dear friend from long ago reach out to me yesterday – just to make sure I am okay. And you know what? I’m great .We always tell people we are sorry for what they have to go through, but I’m not. I am the person I am because of those things. The good, the bad, the laughs, the ugly snotty crying, the rage, the passion, the wounds, the warmth, the love. I wouldn’t want to take that away from anyone. I wouldn’t want to repeat the last few years, but, odd as it sounds, I’m glad they happened. Somebody said to me once that they are 100% successful at life because they are still here. Hoowah! That’s me.
I am finding my way – I am wealthy beyond belief – I have what I need – I am loved, valued, respected, cared about, and supported. Life’s not even half way done with me yet. I am a writer, an artist, a caregiver, a collaborator. I am an employee, a contractor, a boss, and a partner. I am a wife, a sister, a daughter, and a friend. I am Ange, Aggie, Angie, and Aunt Pickle. I am strong and weak, confident and afraid, right and really wrong sometimes. I am 100% successful because I am still here! And the haters, disbelievers, doubters, and negative vibe givers can just suck it! We don’t need you in our lives. Not you and not me.
Now the sun is up, I smell coffee from somewhere, the idiot on the motorcycle that just flew down the street is being pulled over by a cop. Life is great.